And then here comes someone to shatter the RBY part of that title like Brick Break on a Barrier.

Because that's just what she does.

---

There was a pretty strange sight that was working its way into Pallet Town from Route 1. From a glance most folks would say they were watching one of the forest's trees moving about. Wait, moving trees? What is this, Macbeth? The Great Viridian Forest to Pallet Town?

Hardly.

The large, foreign continent Pokémon called Torterra trudged its way slowly into the small town. Seated semi-comfortably on its back, with her own against the trunk of the miniature tree growing from its massive shell, was its trainer. Boringly dressed in black pants with a sleeveless top and jacket with a minimum touch of rainbow colors, the brunette was staring down at a Town Map, not paying a lick of attention to what was going on around her. Her large tortoise simply followed her earlier directions: "Go down zhe path south und keep vollowing it."

Wait.
'Zhe'? 'Und'? 'Vollowing'? Uh-oh, oh crap, look out. Funetik Aksent!

So, ah, the pair arrived in Pallet Town, relatively unscathed. A wild Pidgey was roosting in the Torterra's tree, and a low-leveled Rattata had tried to tackle the larger Pokémon earlier-- it had done little more than agitate the Torterra, who shooed it away with a grunt and a gentle warning nudge of "go away".

The large grass/ground type grunted as they entered and lifted his head, finally garnering his trainer's attention. She looked up, curled the map up into a tight roll, and peered around at the tiny town.

"Oh, vow, zhis ist... ist about vhat I vas expecting, I guess..." The brunette woman squinted from behind her glasses and surveyed the area. It really wasn't impressive-- some small houses, probably a very small population to occupy them, and-- oh, what was this? She eyed the large important looking building that was the professor's lab nearby. Curious, she nudged her ride's head and pointed towards it.

"Mush, Terrathus! Let's go check zhat place out!"

And thus the Torterra, with another grunt, began to amble towards the laboratory. The Pidgey was still roosting in the small tree, content to start a wee Pidgey family up there.

The woman on the Torterra-- okay fine, we'll finally call her by her name, Lauren. A perfectly drab, boring name. Lauren. Lauren looked up as a rustling in Terrathus' branches got her attention. Apparently the Pidgey roosting inside decided the masked man's Pidgey ride would make a pretty sweet mate.

The woman chuckled to herself, looking around the small tree to watch the bird fly off and fail to catch up with the other bird and rider. Thinking little of it, she turned back around and settled herself against the trunk.

"Could you move any vaster, Terra? Mein Gott, you're slower zhan a Slowpoke today."

The large tortoise-- or far more properly a 'world turtle' wannabe-- grunted again disdainfully and began to pick up his walking pace. It was only marginally faster.

With an annoyed grunt of her own, his trainer tucked the map into her satchel, slung the purple bag over one shoulder, and slid down off the shell's left side. "You can catch up zhen, ja?" Without waiting for so much as a verbal answer, the brunette quickly walked off towards the lab.

The girl let out a loud, "HMPH!" and tapped her foot impatiently. She glared at the boy and told him, "You look like a reject Squirtle Squad member. No wonder, 'cause you're really not as cool-looking as them." Once she said that, she stuck up her nose and followed the professor.

She got that Squirtle pokéball from the desk lightning-fast and let her new starter out. In a sudden burst of sweetness, she said to the Squirtle, "Hewwo! I'm Veruca~! I'll nickname you... Sheldon!" The Squirtle let out a happy, "Squirt!"

At that time, Veruca's mean side resurfaced as she zipped around to face Clive. "You! Reject!" she shouted, pointing at Clive. "Battle me, now!"

Meanwhile, the masked man landed in a nearby town, aware that he was being followed. Just a female Pidgey looking for a mate. He released his male and let them fly off together. There wasn't much money to be made in a Pidgey anyway. He wasn't anywhere he planned to go after... yet. Besides, the grunts would take care of that for him. He may as well get his real team out of the PC and give the remaining Meowth in his party to a grunt or something. This one couldn't even talk.

Smash. Smash. Smash.

"Okay, let's see, I figure we can pick up a balloon in the next town and remove that earthquake weakness..."

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

"And I figure Toxic Spikes Lead could stand to get compared to the other Roserade's people are using. Got to keep up on the Metagame and all."

"META!!!"

"Exactly. You ready to get in a fight? We need the money, too. Better add that to the list."

A man in a Veteran Trainer outfit scribbled down the final item on the checklist.

Be the very best, like no one ever was
Battle for $$$
Get Britscor new pack of cigars
Get Agiligross balloon
Get Toxic Spikes Lead compared with other pokemon

"Come on, Agiligross, let's hurry the rest of the way to town!!" Maxwell Stryder, the Chosen One, the Prophetic Tourneyfag, the one chosen by fate to wield Agiligross and his tweaked EVs, shot off on his speed-infused Metagross. He clung to the eyebrows on the top of its face as it galloped off. Once it arrived in town, Agiligross came to a grinding halt, sending up a mound of dirt.

"Alright, Agiligross, back inside. You're going back in until we head out of town." Stryder climbed off his Metagross, then zapped it into his pokeball.
"Okay, so first order of business is get in a fight!" He headed into the town's lab, hoping to gank some newbies.

Lauren rudely snort-laughed behind the aide at Clive's intense show of fail. She immediately clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle herself further and watched the two newbie trainers with growing amusement.

The aide sighed to himself and retreated back to his work (gods be darned, he wasn't going to clean the fight up today!), allowing Lauren and Maxwell a clearer view. Lauren tilted her head slightly as she got the odd feeling of someone somewhere behind her, and she turned just so to regard the other veteran trainer. "... huh. I didn't zhink zhis lab vas zhis popular," she remarked, keeping her voice low.

Professor Oak or no Professor Oak, this whole town seemed like the sort of place you'd just forget about if it weren't for the likes of the professor around. It had taken some musing, but Lauren was starting to recognize the old man. Finally.

------------------------
And meanwhile, behind the lab building, Terrathus had stopped to munch some yummy looking grass. Just in case you were wondering where he'd gone to.

Maxwell watched as the newbs sent out their NFEs and proceeded to start the first fight of their careers. He--he actually didn't remember doing such a thing, because his first pokemon was an Agiligross. Instead of having Tail Whip and Tackle, he had Meteor Mash and Agility.

So, actually it was basically the same strategy--use your noncombat ability, then follow up with an attack. Then alternate back to the noncombat ability, and so on.

He turned to the girl that wasn't participating. She was openly exhibiting the same sort of disdain that he himself felt. She probably actually knew what she was doing! Great! "So. You're also skilled at the Pokemon battles? You interested in fighting a pro, so you don't have to see these jokers?"

"Actually..." began Maxwell, "Yes. Actually, I sort of was. I was raised by monks of pokemon battling, and they gave me a herd of Metagrosses to choose from as my companion. Only the chosen one--me--could choose the right one; the Agiligross, with EVs and a nature perfectly tweaked for maximum sweeping. Only the chosen one--me--could have an innate sense of perfection in a Metagross. So yes, actually, I did have an innate affinity for pokemon at a young age."

He straightened his collar. "And then I headed out to see the world, to show all these charlatans how a real battler fights! You still up for a battle now?"